Every morning I woke up, I used to ask myself why I'm alive, to do such boring and tiring things. There's no reason for me to smile but instead I smile a lot, to think that as I wake up I remember how will my boyfriend will look like seeing me alive and kicking. Plus my niece, family and friends who's always here for me in good and bad times. My life is totally boring but who cares? even though that I feel bored sometimes I am still happy and thankful for what God gave to me, he gave me someone that I can rely on, someone that makes me think and experience how beautiful life really is. On the day onwards, it seemed that I'm addicted to him, I used to tease and play tricks, sometimes I accidentally said something disgusting and sarcastic but I really didn't mean it, it’s just me and my big mouth.
After almost three years here I am now, still me-thin and clumsy. I don’t have any idea what to do to think that I’m just nothing, all alone, restless, useless and stupid. No ever cared for me, how I wish that someday someone will ask me if I’m okay but as the day goes I just keep on pretending, pretending that everything is all fine. Yes I’m a hypocrite but no one can blame me cause everything I do has its own reasons and purpose.
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