Selfishness

Being selfish is not quite normal inspite that it’s really disgusting, the word itself signifies a lot which is usually not that good. When I was a kid I used call myself selfish inspite I know I'm not. Kind, helpful, faithful, sweet and almost possible adjectives describes me but I never boost myself, I used to be humble as anyone could be cause I know that being humble in my own unique ways is something special. But where I am now? I'm still here, sitting in the corner thinking what will happen tomorrow and thinking what should I do next. After all those struggles, attempts and tears in order to help and make other people happy, here I am now, alone and empty.

I make other people happy, I cared for them but do they ever ask or even think that I'm okay? I bet not cause they didn't know anything about me, they will just come to me when they needed me. But selfishness is not a reason that you should be mad in your friends and forget your moments together, either sad or happy.

Selfishness takes place when we crave and ask for something that we don't like that much but we used to try our best to have it in order to be popular and whatever.

When Boredom Strikes

when I am down, sad, lonely and bored I used to take some pictures of myself then delete it right away, taking photos is one of my passion along with it I truly love listening music’s, writing and reading. I'm a nature enthusiast but as the day goes one I don't have much time to explore the world, nowadays our so called world was not quite crowded and polluted sad and we, people are the one who cause this, sad but absolutely true.

Even though I'm kinda busy to do such things I want, I never feel hopeless and bored to death to think that I keep doing routine tasks every day. Other people might think that I don't have any plans in my life and I'm depending in the persons around me. In almost 20 years of existence I meet a lot of people with different attitudes and I manage to face them casually with no hesitations. As I go through every person I meet became my friends to think that some of them doesn't like me like the way I do. In every journey take, in every decisions that we make and every steps that we do, we fail and learn from it but what life really is? For me life is a journey, a quest that we must experience, face and overcome with a smile in our faces no matter how hard and tiring our so called journey could be.

Where is the Dawn

Entering the real world is not that easy, coping up, trying to fit in and managing to face the battle of the so called life. In this generation a lot of things are happening and no one can tell what tomorrow will bring, a year and a half or even a decade who will say that your life today will be your life in the other day. Struggling, facing the problems and difficulties in this life, solving and finding the missing piece in your life. Every one of us have its own views, dreams and mission in this lifetime but as the we go through this so called tasks that we should do in our every little step became heaver. As we start to reach the higher level of our journey we will meet a lot of people which will later help us go through and perhaps make us down.

Yes, we are now living in the world of computers where in nothing is impossible but still there's a place were emptiness takes place. This life is a journey that needs to experience not a question nor a problem to be solved. Making friends, enjoying life and tasting the gift of God. Imagine yourself in the dessert, having nothing and all alone, it’s just like a single candle in the dark and cold room. Later on the flicker of this candle be start to grow and in just one glimpse of an eye the light will die. Does it make any sense? For sure who will later think that life isn't like that, but let us think about it and know the true meaning of life.

Do You Know the word Appreciation?

Appreciation, they say that's what I want but they've got it all wrong. I don't need any appreciation, all I want is to be heard but how can they hear and understand what I want if I'm not saying anything? Its really mind binding isn't it?

Who will think that a person like me has something in mind? I bet no one but let me tell you something about it. No matter what life will bring a lot of things are keep on coming and popping into our heads, making us be more creative and more useful but how can we use those thoughts if didn't attempt to make some noise?

Do you think that sitting in the corner, alone in the dark is a sign of insanity? I think not cause based on my experience it can help us think more and more. Way back then, doing something does not mean that you want a so called appreciation, it is something that doesn't exist in my whole system even though I appreciate those small things that other people made for more. As I said before, I'm easy to please and its easier for me to appreciate such things in this world but take note that I'm not soft to break. It takes so much courage and effort to break me but if you'd think that I am that strong enough then you are wrong. I'm just pretending that I'm okay, everything is normal and nothing has changed but deep inside I keep on struggling and thinking what should I do to make things right, to cope up and help myself stand.

It’s not that easy but who cares? I know I can do it and even if other will say that I can't I know I can and if ever I fail, I will just keep on trying and trying.

It’s Getting Somewhere

Where I am? Here I am sitting in the corner, thinking what to do and what will gonna happen tomorrow. Yesterday I thought everything is all fine, no one's messing around and it seemed so perfect. But life is really unpredictable, one morning I just woke up having nothing but my one great love. I dunno what to do, I dunno what to think and how to react. A lot of things are keep on breaking my heart apart, no one understands me, no one cared for me but here I am trying to be strong in order to survive.

They might say that I'm being selfish, stupid and whatever but one thing for sure, I'm having hard time just to help. For now I don't feel so hopeless cause I know that I can find the light which will bring me into something that I wish and dreamed for long time ago. Sitting in the corner alone is not a sign of weakness, for me it can help your nerves and mind think a lot of ideas and thought which might help you later.

I feel pity for those person that keep on saying that they are hopeless but come to think of it, I'm one of them I am just afraid to show and express it. I'm afraid to let other people know that no matter how strong I am, I still have weakness but however no matter how innocent and weak my aura is, I'm strong that anybody couldn't think.

Breaking the Limit

It’s really hard to say goodbye if you don't want to go isn't it? It’s been a long time since I first feel this way and as day goes on, I keep on telling to myself that I have to move on and make some things on my own. No one knew how hard and painful it is but I keep on trying my very best to cope up and manage to face it on my own. Other people may say that I'm useless and childish but didn't feel the way I feel. Until now the pain is still fresh but who cares? I bet no one. There's no such reason to be mad or whatever but as we enter another step of our life we used to face the fact that we should try more in order to go into the flow of this lifetime.

Maybe being too kind is in my whole system, everybody thinks that I'm so weak for the reason that once in my life they saw me in blue, trying to end my life. They've got it all wrong, for me it’s a part of learning and process. All in all a part of my childhood experience. Perhaps I really looked like I'm dumb, fragile and so innocent but I have my own mind, my own dreams and all I want is a single chance. How can I show my abilities if some people were saying that I can't do it and I must follow what they want me to be?

Other might say that I'm doing things on my own, selfish and useless but who cares? They doesn't know me at all, even those person's that I think cared for me. Maybe they were just to blind to see things or whatever but no one ever care.